Almost all the snow has melted here in Alaska. I have been sending out about 5 postcards a day, so if you want a postcard, please contact me with your physical address. I draw on each postcard, sometimes I write a poem, until I have about 5 ready to go. Then I pick out random names from my "back to the 80's address book" and write a personal note, then place a stamp from my mega roll of stamps. I have been enjoying the daily discipline of drawing, writing, thinking about people who I am connected to, sending them thoughts and love. A small percentage write a postcard back, which feels like a large percentage when I get one in the mail. Spending a lot of time in the house, my daily rhythms have taken new forms.
I have been doing the Wim Hof method, just the breathing and the cold showers, not sure if there are other parts of the method that I am missing. I like the method so far, I do the breathing each morning and each night, an addition to my daily meditation practice.
Slowly but surely, my facebook friends are dwindling down, as I painstakingly take the time to delete people one by one. It has been a lot harder than I thought to extricate myself from the medium than I thought, because there are fears that pop up, pop up, up, up. I have so many contacts and connections there from people and artist friends from all over the world, I feel most times when I am deleting my friends that I am giving some of my wealth away. Like giving away parts of a protection, or I am unravelling a friendship song. Yet, when I sit at my desk with all my favorite pens to draw with and I take time to write down addresses and think of the person who will open their mailbox and get a surprise card in the mail, it gives me strength to keep going along with the plan to leave the medium of facebook. I am making connections and strengthening connections in a different way, a way that makes me feel like I did when I was a teenager, with my address book and my stationary and stickers. I know that I could just de-activate my account and not do the slow one-by-one delete of friends and posts and memories, but I am kind of like a dog with a bone sometimes, once I get it in my head I am going to do something a certain way, I stick to it. I do love the postcard writing, the space that I get into when I am writing notes. I think the letters and postcards are my best way of communicating, more than a well crafted email or a blog post or a twitter poem.
I am filled with lots of love and life these days. We got a puppy from friends who had a small doggie who made puppies with another small doggie, and now we have a boy puppy who is about six months old. He's very much a puppy and we love him. The big doggie that we had for a year before the puppy arrived has adjusted to his new little best friend. It was a process, he has come out on the other side. The big doggie, we are his fourth family and he was at the pound for 59 days before we brought him home, so it has been a big love journey to bring him to accept a family that will love him forever. The puppy has actually helped neutralize some of his trauma that he must have gone through to get to us.
These are the stories, I am spilling out to you. Today, I was able to let go and feel a deep deep love. Tears went down my face, as I was able to let go of very stubborn parts of my heart. Things that I was determined to be dug into, that I was determined to hold onto, ways that I know that I was right right right, my stubborn heart stuckness, all at once, all of it became unravelled and the stuck parts flew up into the springtime sunlight.
Thank you for staying with me. I am filled with so much energy and work is going good, I am so excited to have something new to share with you. Soon.
Allison Akootchook Warden